What not to say when you ask your boss for a pay raise

“So many budgetary decisions and compensation increases for teams and departments are often decided before the year-end conversations with employees are scheduled,” Octavia Goredema, career coach and host of the Audible series “How to Change Careers,” told MarketWatch. 

Career coaches obviously advise employees to list their accomplishments to best prepare the path for a potential pay raise. But how do you actually ask for it? What should employees say, and what should they avoid saying when they are sitting in front of their boss? It’s often the most stressful meeting most workers will have all year. 

But what should you not do? Don’t come across as needy or entitled, even accidentally. It’s easy to do, experts say. For instance, don’t say, “I’ve been here for five years, so I believe I deserve a raise.” Or, “I show up every day on time and do my work.” That is, after all, what people are paid to do. 

Do say, “I’ve achieved 20% growth for my project and brought x and y ideas to the table.” Also say, “I’ve contributed to the company’s culture by organizing workshops on diversity and inclusion.” Or say, “My work resulted in being recognized by x or y as an example of how to make our brand successful in a difficult economic environment.”  

Related: Is this a good — or bad — time for me to ask for a raise? The job market is strong, but layoffs are on the rise

What makes you stand out?

Prioritize your achievements, your plans and what skills you bring to the company — your bread-and-butter results — and how you help contribute to a healthy corporate culture. Focus on what you have done during the time you’ve been there, and what more you intend to do.

How are you different? What makes you stand out from other employees? “Asking for a pay raise is really arguing for the unique value that you can add to the company,” said Dave Wolovsky, career coach and negotiation consultant. 

It’s not about who you are — it’s about what you have achieved. “Use language about why you deserve the raise, not why you need or want one,” Andrew McCaskill, LinkedIn career expert and creator of The Black Guy in Marketing newsletter, told MarketWatch. 

Economic or domestic circumstances are not a reason for a raise. Increased rent or a rise in grocery prices are not the concern of your employer, Goredema added. 

“Inflation is a horrible reason to ask for a raise because they’re only going to give you a few percent for that, like 3% at most for inflation,” Wolovsky said. But if you prove value and get a promotion? “That’s where you can get 15%.”

“Throughout your pitch, avoid words that could undermine your position, such as: ‘believe,’ ‘feel,’ ‘think,’ ‘just,’ ‘only’ and ‘might,’” Jamie Birt, a career coach, wrote recently on a blog for Indeed.com. 

“These words can make it seem you’re not feeling confident and if you convey uncertainty, your manager may become uncertain too,” she added. “Go into this conversation knowing that you deserve a raise and communicate your confidence with strong words.”

In other words, the conversation should focus on the business case for the compensation. Don’t bring other people into your conversation. Stay professional — and do not complain to your manager that your co-worker is being paid more than you. 

Keep a record of your wins — and list them to your boss. Individual performance and company performance should always come before you move onto salary. It’s OK to “humble brag,” McCaskill said.

Keep a record of your achievements, and don’t be afraid to showcase them. For the next financial year, tracking your successes starts today. “Reinforce how they impact your team and the overall business,” he added.

How do you prepare for the meeting?

Test the waters to see what official feedback may come up during the performance review. Keep up to speed on the company’s financial position, and make sure that you are meeting your manager’s goals throughout the year. 

Schedule one-on-one meetings with your manager throughout the year, Goredema said. “Before you get to your year-end meeting, you really want insights from your supervisor on the opportunities and priorities for the team as you look ahead to the next fiscal year,” she added.

There should be no surprises during the performance review, Wolovsky said. If the manager mentions any weakness, thank them for bringing it to your attention and ask them how you can work on it, he said. In other words, know the potential roadblocks beforehand, he added. 

How do you negotiate your salary?

Now comes the pay-raise conversation. Talk about the ways your work has had an impact on the company’s culture and performance. Outline a key responsibility or project that will continue to add value to the team, Goredema said. 

Share your desired salary increase — it’s an opening gambit. Be open to negotiating. Experts recommend reminding your manager that this is a healthy two-way transaction: “I’ve invested in the company, and the company has invested in me. I’m excited about building on my success, and helping the company grow.”

Past performance can predict future performance, so if you want to instill confidence in your manager, focus on how you can build on your success, and talk about what your plans are for the year ahead. “Our strongest point is the future,” Wolovsky said. 

Be prepared for pushback. Career websites like Glassdoor, CareerBuilder, Indeed and LinkedIn should show a salary range for your job and/or your company. Talk to trusted colleagues about what salary you might expect to ask for. The more transparency, the more empowered you will be. 

And if the company cannot offer you a sufficient raise? Ask for an improvement to your benefits package such as paid time off, reimbursement for courses to build on your skills, or even a more flexible work schedule. There are many things — aside from money — that could improve your work/life balance and, as a result, your quality of life.

Also read: What can I do to improve my salary? Am I being paid fairly? In a strong jobs market, here’s how to push for a pay raise.